the it-could-workshop

Talk over my brain’s tendency to look for what a moment is NOT and really really really attend to what it IS. Don’t miss the best parts.

As often as possible.  Start now. 

I need visuals.  I like words.  With letter tiles or with a pen and paper, I lay out some words that feel interesting or important in a moment, and then I add letters.  It ends up looking like a crossword puzzle, like the photo to the left.  It helps me make useful connections and takes me a lot fewer words to get at what's on my mind and in my body.  I do this one a LOT.

 One way I understand the world is through the tension of ACCEPTANCE and CHANGE.  I am practicing being totally on the side of acceptance in conversations.  More "Tell Me More" than "My 2 cents."  Ask, listen, join, connect.  Talk less, Harrie, and smile more.

I have been working on being in the moment I'm in and being actively grateful for it.  I'm allergic to "bright side" thinking, but my version of it is to remember that I someday I will miss even the worst moments with my most Beloved Monsters.

Forgetting is inevitable.  I work around it by putting reminders of my values where I can't miss them.  I use stick-it notes, chalkboards, dry erase boards, and steamy mirrors to write and draw stuff I'm trying to bring to life in the world.

Think about the role that compassionately delivered disgust has played in your own moral and ethical development.  How have important people taught you what's  NOT OKAY to say and do?  Maybe try one of their tricks...

Say something surprisingly kind, warm, gracious, or grateful to someone. Notice what happens.

Pick something you've been having a hard time getting yourself to do more of or less of.  Look another human being in the face and tell them what you are Trying to do.  See what happens.

Ask someone what they think about something you have strong opinions about.  Work hard not to say what you think about it, even if they ask.  Imagine that the goal of the conversation is to understand the other person, not to get them to understand you or think a different thought.  Notice what makes this hard to do.  

In the busy-ness of life, I often forget that what matters to me matters to me.  Visuals  keep my intentions in my face, and one of my favorite tricks is to put things on eye level (I level?) that remind me of who I am and who I'm trying to be.  Plus, seeing books and photographs and objects related to my favorite Monsters gives me a boost.   Dewey can keep his decimals; I organize Sci-Fientifically.

Thinking about the future has to feel good if I'm going to have the willingness and energy to make it happen.  I am trying to shift my thinking by listing what I want in the world, not what I don't want.   What am I saying YES to?  What am I inviting?